How was your weekend?

I bet I know what your Facebook and Twitter feeds have looked like for the last few days:

“#FYCX”

Tons of pictures of wheels,

 mud,

random tire tracks,

kids ringing cowbells,

and muck boots.

That can only mean one thing. CX is here.

Lionhearts CX started the season this past Saturday. I won’t bore you with my lame race report other than I sucked and some folks I beat fairly consistently last year went out and hired coaches and now they are all faster than me again. It appears besides offering kickass coaching and being HUGE CX supporters, JBV Coaching’s other job is to restore order to the universe. So there’s that.

Corey and co. put together a fun course, mother nature did her job and rained for 6 hours prior to the race start, and all in all it was a hugely successful kick off to the season. Plenty of pics will make their way to FB over the next few days but here is Jeff getting rad on the steps.

Think J-Pow or KFC will ride them at UCI3?

As the season gets underway in earnest next week at Apple Cross I am sure more stories of mediocre racing and general hilarity will make their way to the blog. I am sure you all are so relieved to hear that.

Cycling Summer Vacation

One of the ways in which PRO cyclists and I are different is in which months we are most actively riding. Namely, July. All the PROs want to peak for the TDF this month. For me July marks my “summer vacation” from cycling. The first half of the year consisted of some base building, some endurance racing, some road racing, and ended with my surviving of Hilly Billy Roubaix. Starting in August begins the CX portion of the year. CX TTs start the first week in August, the first CX race is September 9^th and the first OVCX race is September 16^th.

The other ways I differ from PROs, well, they are really, really good at cycling and I range between full on suck and slightly mediocre. I am sure there are other ways we differ but I don’t have the time to fully investigate them. Back to my first point, late June, July, and early August are sort of a black hole in my cycling calendar. Kind of like the day after the MLB All Star game. The only thing on TV is the WNBA (Is this even still a thing? Hmm, who knew?) Sure there are some MTB races and a few crits but the motivation to train and the travel passes are hard to come by. Not to mention riding, much less racing, in 100 degrees and 99% humidity just plain sucks. I’ll save that for the first few CX races.

So how am I spending my time? After Hilly Billy Roubaix I rode the final Ault Park crit, then took about 5 days off the bike. I managed one 12 mile lunch ride and then for some reason decided it would be a good idea to “race” our biggest local MTB race at East Fork. Mainly to support CORA as the race kicks back a fair amount of money to the trails and the main trail steward is teammate Butch and I figured it would be moderately fun. The good news is I did not crash, injure myself, or get totally dehydrated from the race. The bad news is, I learned (or rather confirmed) that I am really bad at MTB racing. I mean, I am generally bad at racing but I am exceptionally bad at MTB racing. Maybe the high heat had something to do with it but I think it is more mental than anything else. MTB races typically turn into time trials in the woods and if I am riding solo it is just too easy to slow down. Add to that my less than stellar bike handling skills and it is a recipe for back of the pack finishes. As for this past weekend, I was not DFL, but I was close. The rest of the team though… well damn! They kicked ass. We had 8 riders enter across multiple categories. We left the race with 5 wins, one 5^th place, my shitty performance, and one DNF due to a mechanical. Jeff’s DNF would have been a win or 2^nd place as he and Becher were riding together when he flatted and Becher went on to win their age group.  Here are the highlights: (Thanks Rod for the photog work!)

Butch wins the Cat 1/Expert Single Speed

Congrats Butch. And dude, put on a shirt!

 Evan wins the Cat 2/Sport Single Speed

Showing off the dirt tan!

Matt takes the Cat 2/Sport 40+ top step

Way to go Matt! And again, dude, put on a shirt! Seriously.

Hez dominates the Cat 2/Sport women

Now they decide to start wearing shirts????

Katie wins the Cat 3/Beginner women

First mass start XC race, first win. Not a bad percentage!

Drew in 5^th Cat 2/Sport 30-39

At least they all have shirts on.

Jeff after he got hung up behind a crash but before he flatted

Whatta I gotta do to catch a break?

Me looking hot

I kinda look like a racer here.

So what’s next for me? Gonna start CX “training” first week in August which will consist of some interval work at lunch, the CX TT’s for the mid-week max effort, some running once or twice a week, then a good group ride or maybe a race of some kind on the weekends. About mid September I will back off the running and pick up a weekday lunch ride.  The CX TTs don’t offer a ton of skills work but they are almost exactly 45 minutes long and I try to turn them into a few long intervals. They come very close to simulating the intensity and effort of an actual CX race. Will I have any better results this year than last? Dunno, but I am really looking forward to the cooler temps and seeing my extended CX family again. In the meantime I plan to start running (slowly) this week, doing some general JRA’ing, spending plenty of time at Kings Island and the water park with my daughter, and maybe doing another race if something strikes my fancy.

Update: It's a full blown epidemic! 



The Best Bike Blog Ever took 2nd but lost @ P90X



It spread to 5th place for the experts...

 So if you are scoring at home, that makes 4 separate podiums... so far...

Hilly Billy Roubaix - The Aftermath

My motivation for not DNFing

Not a bad finisher's "medal"

I’ve had a really hard time coming up with words to talk about Hilly Billy Roubaix. First of all let me say that ABRA and J.R. Pesko and Co. put on a first class event. Registration was manned by people who did not seem the least bit annoyed that I was there standing in front of them. For those of us that race in the Midwest we are used to a much grumpier group of registration volunteers so this was such a pleasant surprise. The aid station (and Ade-Stay-shun) volunteers were awesome. They had to stand out there all day and deal with hot, sweaty, smelly, tired, asshole racers asking for 1.75 scoops of Heed per bottle, not 2 scoops. And they did it all day with a smile. Taking my trash, giving me a chair, filling my bottles and camelback. I really think I fell in love at each station. The swag was super cool too. From the sweet T-shirt (which I’ll cover later), the O-Fish-awl logo decal which now adorns my truck, the mason jar finisher’s prize, down to the free pizza and beer, it was all done superbly. Did I mention free beer? And they gave you a mason jar to drink it out of? Did I mention this race was in West Virginia? OK. Just checkin. So onto my story:

Top of the first climb. I'm not broken yet.

This race hit my radar about a year ago. I had done the Sub 9 Death March and really liked the gravel road endurance thing. Or so I thought. So I registered for Hilly Billy in January of this year. We had a really mild winter so I came into the spring in great shape and riding stronger than ever. We went back to the Death March in March and our team took about 45 minutes off our time from last year in a longer race. Proof my fitness was getting pretty high. I was stoked more than ever for HBR. I noticed Segal, Seiler and Fatty from the 502 were registered, sweet, some team mates! I spent the next few months trying to convince everyone I knew to come race HBR with me. People were either spent from racing some NUE races already (Jeni and Darrin had 4, Butch had 2, and ‘erbuddy else just did Mohican a few weeks earlier) or they had lame family vacation excuses.

Segal bailed at the last minute so it was me, Seiler, and Fatty. I rolled into Morgantown about 5:00PM and they showed up about 45 minutes later. We ate a crappy meal at Ledo’s and basically hit the sack. The next morning the electric went out in the hotel so we had to schlep our stuff down 5 flights. Not a good start. On to the race. Registration was smooth (see 1^st paragraph) and after some nervous milling about it was time to race. J.R. had a racer’s meeting where he told us if we get lost we are dumb and to not get dead anywhere. A neutral roll out to the main drag and then the lead “moto” (a full blown dirtbike) pulls a wheelie half a mile down the road leading us out! Did I mention this race is in West Virginia? After a fast downhill we hit the first gravel and people are already on the side of the road changing tubes, fixing chains, and maybe vomiting?

Having much less fun now.

The bulk of the race is a blur. Lots of gravel that was the size of my fist, lots of climbing (there was no flat sections of this race, it was up or down), lots of walking up the climbs, and lots of descending on sketchy roads. Amazing aid station workers and only 2 gun shots heard. By the time I got to the first aid station, at about mile 22, it had stopped being fun. By aid station 2 I was considering quitting. A lot. I rolled in and saw James from Dayton sitting there, he said he was done, quitting there. Then Gregg S. rolled up behind me. He was in good spirits and talking my ear off. He was like, “let’s ride” so I followed him out and he dropped me pretty quickly on the next climb. At this point the thought of quitting was strong, but I have never DNF’d a race and didn’t want to start now. Plus, they gave us the T-shirt at registration and If I quit I couldn’t wear that shirt. That was what kept me going. A freaking T-Shirt. So I trudged along, riding with folks suffering as much as me, dropping some, getting dropped by others. At aid station 3 I had a popsicle. I think it saved my life. There were 14 miles left and I was about 5 ½ hours deep. I could make 7 hours if I had a smooth rest of the way. So I set off with this in mind but you know what they say about best laid plans. With 4 miles to go I got my only flat of the race. I wanted to cry. And to top it off I was in front of a house with a large dog in the front yard barking and straining his chain to the breaking point. Between walking up around the bend to get out of sight of the dog and changing my tube, probably 5 people passed me. I knew 7 hours was not going to happen at this point. I limped home in 7:13.

"I'm never riding bikes again"

All in all, not too shabby for my first HBR and first solo endurance event. Add in the fact it was in the real “mountains” and I am pretty pleased. Actually I am just ecstatic I finished. 21% of the field DNF’d. I would say the course won the day. Did the flat cost me the 7 hour goal? Maybe, but something else might have happened. Seiler finished 18^th at 5:25 minutes and Fatty was just over 6 hours. Great rides by them and they both said it was the hardest race either had ever done. I know it was the hardest thing I have ever done. Ever. What really surprised me was how emotional I was after the finish. After cleaning up, loading up, and saying good bye I got on the road and when I hit the interstate I called home. Just talking to my wife and daughter killed me. I broke down and cried my eyes out to them. I was a total wreck! My whole body hurt and all I wanted to do was go home. I never really understood the people that collapse and cry after a marathon. Now I do! Jami talked me down and she kept calling me every hour or so just to make sure I was OK. After a few hours I felt much better and could eat and drink again, so I knew I could make it home. I rolled into the driveway about 10:30 got inside, showered, and crashed hard. Sunday we went and saw Brave as a family. It was awesome.

Was I glad I did HBR? Absolutely! Will I do it again? On Saturday I said I would never do anything like that again. On Sunday I figured I would ride my bike again one day, on Monday I knew I would ride again, and now I am answering that question with a definite maybe. By tomorrow I will be probably be registered.

coverage from XXC Magazine, CyclingDirt

photos at Fred Jordan's smugmug

Hilly Billy Countdown

One week until the Hilly Billy Roubaix and I am starting to get the pre-race jitters. This will be the longest race/ride I have ever attempted, it will be the most climbing I have ever done in a single ride, it will be very hot outside, and oh yeah, it is in the middle-of-freaking-nowhere-West-By-God-Virginia so I could get eaten by a bear. All in all it sounds just about perfect.



Me pretending to know what I am doing. Photo credit: Jeffrey Jakucyk



My training was going pretty well but this past week it got derailed a little bit due to a crazy week at work so I have not had any rides at lunch. Meaning, my planned one week taper has turned into almost 2 weeks of taper. My only riding of consequence has been the Wednesday Ault Park crit/points races. I have yet to score a point but each of the first 4 weeks I have accomplished what I wanted and it has been good to remind the body what it is like to race as opposed to just riding hard. Not to mention the heckling practice for CX these races provide.

I am now entering my over obsessive race prep mode. I am riding the Death Bike only I am going to borrow some 35mm CX tires from Jeff. For nutrition my plan is GU2O in the Camelbak to start and a large bottle of water on the bike. Bringing plenty of GU gels, chomps, and at least one bar of some kind to have some real food on hand. My overly optimistic plan is to skip aid station 1 at mile 19 and then refill at aid station 2 at mile 38.  We’ll see how this all works out. I have no delusions of grandeur that I am going to win this thing so I will be doing what I need to finish. One mini pump, one CO2, 2 tubes, tire levers, chain tool, powerlink, multi-tool, mini-leatherman and some duct tape will be along for the ride as well.

Segal, Seiler, and Fatty from the 502 are registered but my attempts to get anyone from the 513 out to this race have been in vain. Hopefully in about a week and a half my race report will make them all super jealous, or at least maybe my sweet race t-shirt will.

If you are on the fence about this race, this video of Smokey Drain "Road" should help change your mind.

Vandervort's Corner Recap

Me sitting 2nd wheel behind Mark, photo courtesy Jeffery Jakucyk

Sunday I took the plunge and did my first ever road race. It was the last race of the OSRS , Vandervort’s Corner put on by TeamDayton. A few of us had been thinking about doing one or more of the spring races but no schedules seemed to allow it to happen. I had a free day and this race was only about 30 minutes from my house.

Turns out I was the only Rogue who had a hall pass for the day. Ted said he was going to come race, and his wife was encouraging him to race with me, but that was over dinner and more than a few drinks after the Tap ‘n Run. So I guess in the morning she came to her senses and made him stay home and build a fence.

Even though I feel pretty fit right now I figured I better stay in the Cat 5 race as it was my first ever road race, and the guy in second place overall in the Cat 5s for the series is a regular on the Beatdown with me so I figured I would not be out of place.

My plan was to stick close to Mark (2^nd place guy) and near the front without doing too much work until I figured out how hard this was going to be. The course was an 8-mile loop, almost totally flat, no wind to speak of, with one little 100-foot bump.  The 5s did 5 laps for 40 miles. The small climb was steep but 7 miles from the finish so too far away to be decisive. After 3 laps it was obvious the group was not going to get split out and no one wanted to go on a suicide break away so we spent most of our time just pedaling along. I spent most of the time riding in the top 5-10 spots since farther back little gaps would open on each turn and I wanted to conserve the energy and avoid the sketchy wheels. The last lap we picked up the pace a little but it was not enough to split the field, only enough to tire my legs ensuring I would have nothing for the sprint (not that I have ever been accused of being a sprinter before)… we came to the line in a group of about 25, I “sprinted”, saw a small gap, went for it, passed a few people, and finished 11^th or 12^th. Not bad, but not great. I accomplished my goals of riding near the front, not crashing, and finishing with the lead group. Maybe it was the course, maybe it was the fact it was the last race and everybody was tired, maybe it was the 85+ degree heat, but the Cat 5 race was just kind of a group ride with a few sketchy bike handlers. I am glad I got in one road race this year, but overall I give the whole experience a “meh”. Crits start next week and those are a whole ‘nother story; much more fun.

A few random musings from the road race:

• It takes a special kind of db to sit 10^th wheel or so, with no teammates on the front, and yell “take it up!” Hey dude, you are more then welcome to come to the front whenever you want.
• Do you really need to signal the turns? Aren’t the big orange cones and people waving flags enough for you? And when you signal a turn get your hands back on the bars before the turn.
• Racing in the heat is dumb.
• Road racing is hard, even the cat 5 race for a pretty strong rider. I need to work on being able to recover… right now I only have a few “matches to burn”
• It would have been way more fun and exciting with teammates. The team with multiple guys in our race did not know how to control a race and did not want to ride at the front.
• It would appear, on paper at least, that the rumors of excessive sandbagging may be true… however, each successive category looked a lot faster than the lower one. I would not want to cat up, just to get dropped in every race. In CX at least when you are dropped you are still racing, not just time trialing all alone till you get pulled or DNF.
• Big Dave and all the organizers have their shit together. The race happened with not a single hiccup as far as I could see.

Up next is Ault Park weekly crits, then Hilly Billy Roubaix, the Hyde Park Blast, and hopefully a MTB race. OVCX Schedule was released too, so time to start thinking cross!

Back Off Bike Demo Pusher Man!



You need yoga pants!



The other day my wife dragged me into a Lululemon store. 3 hours later we walked out with a giant shopping bag full of tank tops, yoga pants, running skirts, and Lord only knows what else. As horrible as this experience sounds while we were there a strange thing happened, I almost bought some $88 dollar nylon shorts. They were very nice shorts but Christ on a crutch! $88 for nylon shorts? But the longer I looked at them the more I started to justify the price. I firmly believe the employees are trained hypnotists.  “You need these shorts. You are getting sleepy. They really are a good deal.”  Luckily seeing my wife’s pile of clothes on the check out counter knocked me back to reality and I put the shorts back on the shelf. On the way home my wife commented on how successful the brand is and what a great job they do of making you think a $75 tank top is a great deal.  Uh-huh. I have the receipt to prove what a “great deal” we got.

Well, “Demo Days” are the cycling industry’s equivalent to the Lululemon hypnosis. “Hey, you wanna ride this $8,000 carbon rocketship on the group ride tonight?”  That was what greeted me last night when I rolled up to the shop for the Wednesday Beatdown ride last night.  Sure let me ride that BMC Team Machine 01. Same frame the BMC PRO Team rides. This seemed like a good idea at the time.

Team Machine SLR01. Mmmmmm!



I will say the bike was nice. Really nice. Probably a full 4-5 pounds lighter than my steel frame with run of the mill wheels, and noticeably stiffer, especially in the turns. The best part about riding the demo bike was that about half way into the ride it started to pour down rain. And we still had to ride the dirty, pothole riddled road. This means no bike cleaning for Jason!

Upon returning to the shop Mitch, proprietor of Bio Wheels, asks me if I want to buy the bike now. “Of course I do!” Just like those $88 shorts I start totally rationalizing this $8,000 bike. Luckily I was too wet and cold to really consider it and having had a day to reflect, I realize my wife, who can casually spend hundreds of dollars on a couple tank tops, would have divorced me in a heartbeat if I came home with a new bike.  But I would be lying if told you for the entire drive home I was not racking my brain on how to find the money. I would get a small shop discount, I can sell my old bike, I don’t need ALL my plasma…

Getting Over The Dropsies

Disney's Fish Hooks - Bad case of Dropsy

Wednesday World’s. Every city has one. The mid-week group ride that all the racer type hammerheads do. Here in Cincinnati that ride is named “The Beatdown”. And trust me, it is aptly named. I have been riding this ride fairly consistently for the last 2 years. Some nights it’s faster than others but it is never slow. Maybe it was the mild winter and everyone was able to keep more fitness, maybe it was that more of the super fast guys are showing up, but whatever the case, the first few weeks this ride seemed faster than usual. Which means the usual donkey-wheeze pace was upped to full blown snot bubbler. Needless to say, I was getting dropped pretty consistently on the ride. Sometimes solo, sometimes one or two more would get popped off the back with me, but I was not finishing the ride in the group and I always felt like Albert Glass looks in the pic above.

A wise bike racer once told me that “Training off the back is better than training off the front.” As true as that may be, getting dropped sucks. Period. So last night I roll into the shop parking lot for the ride and I was so glad I convinced a faster team mate to come out with me. I thought for sure I was getting dropped and I could use a friendly wheel to help me get home. Someone asked me what I thought the temperature would be during the ride. My response was “fast”. Looking at the crew assembled I counted 9 cat 1/2 racers, the rest strong cat 3 racers, and me. Gulp.  Our “neutral” roll out of 3-4 miles to the less trafficated roads was a 23 mph rotating paceline. This is “conversational” pace for this group.

The route we ride looks like this __________________/\______________/\___ and the rules are if you get dropped on the climbs the group will wait/soft-pedal after the climb while you catch on. If you are dropped on the flats you better know the route home.  So far this year I have been dropped in between the 2 climbs at the same point every ride. A long stretch of false flat road, usually into the wind, right after a train crossing, making for a lonely last 7-8 miles. More on that in a moment. So we roll out, get to the fast flat section and my teammate who I drug out to the ride gets caught out as a car turns in front of the group. Most of us made it through but Matt did not. He never caught back on as the pace quickly hit 30 mph. I pulled through one time and then found my way to the back left corner of the group. I stayed in that general position and hung on till the base of the first climb. A few folks were spit out the back so I knew I would not be last up the climb (a first for me on this ride!). After the climb and descent we hit Binning Rd. It is our own little Paris Roubaix. It’s a pot hole filled, half gravel, total mess of road. And of course the best time to drill it at the front. The key to making it through here is to find a good wheel to follow and pray you don’t eject a water bottle, flat, crash, or get hit head on by a car. I usually put out too much effort on this section and yesterday was not different but I hit smooth tarmac with the lead group. I knew I was for sure gonna pay for it and get shelled at the same spot I always do. Well, maybe the group was a touch slower as a few usuals were out of town, or maybe it was just a smoother ride with fewer surges at the front, or maybe, just maybe, I was strong enough, but whatever the case when we hit the little riser before the highway underpass I was still in the middle of the peloton. Holy crap, I might just make it.

As we were approaching the last hill I was in a group with some strong climbers but a smaller group was up the road a little. No one was hammering it, we just got split at a light. I knew I could not climb with the fast guys so I figured I would help out all the guys who let me sit in all night and I got on the front and buried myself to close the gap. I dropped the climbers onto the back of the front group and then sat up and put it in the little ring. That last climb was slow and painful but I could not stop smiling. You never know when you will get over a case of the Dropsies, no one knows the cure, and they can come back at any minute with no warnings and no other symptoms, but every once in a great while you can fend them off.

Death March wrap

  

The Death Bikes on the way home.



WOW! How to recap the 2012 Death March? Well, to start, we did not make any stupid bets with the Bio Wheels teams this year. That proved to be a very poor decision as they had all kinds of mechanical issues this year but they still managed to all pull in very good results. But all the Rogue teams did manage to beat all but one Bio Team. I digress…

This year 10 of us (5 teams of 2) decided early (like in January) that we would Team Time Trial it this year. Basically copy the successful formula the Big Blue Bio Train used last year. Only we were going to be a black and green blur. Or so we hoped. Myself and the other Jason let our OCD take over and we obsessed over the route and planning for weeks. All this meticulous mapping paid off though, when we found a little secret. A route that looked longer on the map was actually a few tenths of a mile shorter, had much less elevation change, and sure appeared to be a paved road. This was HUGE, since the $64,000 DM question is always “Is the shorter route with a big climb on gravel quicker than the longer route on pavement?” Or some variation of that question. This route was shorter, smoother, and flatter. Perfect for our 10 person paceline attack!

Friday before the race me, Jeff, Jason, Matt S., and all our wives and kids (16 total) head out to a local pizza and pasta joint to pre-fuel. They put us in the kids room, for good reason, and we promptly made them turn the TV from cartoon network to the Cincinnati/Syracuse Big East semi-final. Sorry kids! The Bearcats won which I took to be a good omen for the weekend.



We arrived at the boy scout camp only to learn that Huddle was sick as a dog and had been up all night puking. This meant Jeff lost his partner and became the official RRP Photog for the day. After the racers meeting we start looking for Matt and Gary… where are they? WTF, they are lost already and still in the parking lot… Gun goes off and they show up. Turns out Gary left all his supplies and water at home so he had to beg, borrow, and maybe steal some stuff to get through the race.



Me and Jason at the top of the fire tower



Our route was money and except for one un-timely flat right at the beginning of the race for Butch we were mostly incident free. Our plan was to ride together as much as possible unless someone just blew up totally figuring 9 people will be faster over the course of the day than 2 alone. The teamwork showed, and the brotherhood shared was immense. Anytime someone was struggling (which we all did at one point or another), someone dropped back to tow them up, offer some food, change a flat, you name it. We stayed together until right before Fleetwood, the last stop, and we had decided we would “race” in. I say “race” because none of us had much left in the tank. Jason and I jumped out to a big lead on the gravel section after Combs road. Dave, Evan, Matt, Gary, and Jeff bridged up pretty quick. Gary plowed on ahead, Evan fell off, and we all got to Fleetwood about the same time. Drew and Butch were a ways back so it was game on for the rest of us. Jeff blows by Fleetwood, leaving us to take our own pictures! Gary and Matt snap them and are off. I yell at Matt to take ours and he “tries” to, but just can’t get us in the picture…we eventually back on the bike and chase. Jason powers on and catches Dave, Gary, and Jeff. I finally get to Evan and put him behind me but I have nothing left. I now know what it feels like for the pros to be pedaling squares. My mind says GO! Sprint! My legs just can’t go. Jeff tries to tow me up, but to no avail. Jason, Gary, and Dave arrive before me. Matt comes around to secure the “win” for him and Gary. We all finish within 30 seconds of each other though. What an amazing display of teamwork and riding all day! It was truly awesome.



I think Jason is wearing sandals and white socks???



Not to be outdone, Hez and Sherri rode super strong and got to pretend like they took 3rd place. It wasn’t till the next day the results were corrected… still a great showing. Jeni and Darrin brought home 6th in Co-Ed and Ted and Katie nabbed a top 20 Co-Ed. This was Katie’s first ever bike race, and first time riding over 50 miles (they decided to go ahead and ride 70). Oh, and Jeni and Darrin spent the last 3 weeks working non-stop on getting the RB ready for the weekend. It’s nice to have a basecamp at these races! Thanks a million!

Some random highlights in no particular order:



Butch and Matt both climbed the fire tower. They both are terrified of heights. Butch may have cried, I cannot confirm nor deny that.

On Combs road, after nearly 50 miles of riding, I tried to choke down some Cliff Blocks. A few minutes later I had a min-vomit and tried to keep my mouth shut. This allowed Cran-Razz Cliff vomit mist to spray out of my mouth and blow right back in my face. My glasses had "churp mist" spots the rest of the day.



View from the top of the fire tower (courtesy Sarah Swallow)



On the hike a bike section of Combs, Jeff randomly pulls a McDonald’s cherry pie out of his jersey pocket (WTF?) and says “There you are! This is why I bought you this morning!”

At the “SAG” wagon Jeff was filling his camelback in a state of semi-delirium and blurted out “That’s what she said!” He had been telling himself “Don’t miss the hole,” over and over in his head while filling.

Also at the “SAG”, while most of us were taking a natural break, Butch was procuring a beer. As we all start to gather our selves he whips out a knife, stabs the beer, and shotguns it. He then announces he is ready to race. I guess so.

Something awesome happened to one team member last year behind the 2nd window on the top floor of the Story Inn. We all now know what it was, as do the 15 or so people milling about the parking lot of the Story Inn. They will never be the same...

Qdoba build your own burrito bowls are the best post race food ever. Especially when they give you giant bowls that you can overfill. Quote from some dude in line next to me: “Mine looks like a Disneyland ride!”

The RRP513 (men’s) teams finished 16th, 17th, 18th, & 20th, overall and 14th, 15th, 16th, 18th, out of the men’s division. Last year we had a 15th, a 16th, and a few in the mid twenties. The number of total teams doubled from last year so I would say we improved a bit!

Oh, and most important of all, a ton of donations were made and given to the Holden tornado effort. We might have “suffered” on the bikes for a few hours, but those people have actually suffered. Makes me so thankful for what and who I have in my life.

Sub 9 Death March Freak Out Post!

With less than one day to go before the start of the 2012 Sub 9 Death March I (and 250 or so of my closest friends) are freaking out! Pouring over maps, deciding if a shorter steep climb is better than a longer, shallower climb, what to wear, what supplies to bring, what tires to run, and which route provides the most "downhill". To hold you, the loyal reader(s) of this blog, over, here are some links from last year... 24 hours to go! Can't wait!

http://www.lovethepain.blogspot.com/2011/03/sub-9-death-march-recap.html

http://www.lovethepain.blogspot.com/2011/03/great-rock-n-roll-swindle-or-sub-9.html

http://www.lovethepain.blogspot.com/2011/03/truly-marching-dead.html

http://www.thebestbikeblogever.com/2011/03/sub-9-death-march-dont-drink-from.html

http://www.thebestbikeblogever.com/2011/03/anatomy-of-death-rig.html

http://www.thebestbikeblogever.com/2011/03/death-march-on-ghost-roads-xxc-magazine.html

http://jimmyroadrash.blogspot.com/2011/03/jimmy-nates-death-march-to-core-of-evil.html

http://www.stephenhuddle.net/2011/03/sub-9-death-march.html

Confessions Of A Strava Addict

Hi. My name is Jason and I am a Strava Addict. An obsessive, compulsive, segment scouring, I’ll do anything for a fix, my life is falling apart but I can justify it, segment addict.

I once thought Strava segments were great. They were a way to measure yourself against teammates and rivals; providing some competition outside of a race. Well not anymore. I no longer want anyone else to join Strava unless I know they are slower than me. Matt and Bryan, stay the hell off. My coworker who just bought a used hybrid? Let me help you set up your account…

One second. How long is one second? Not long right? Well, one second haunted me for days. For some reason I had found myself in the top 10 on one of Cincinnati’s most popular hills. The people in front of me were all seriously faster than me but there were some big names behind me. I was starting to feel pretty good about this since my time had stood for quite a while. Then I noticed I got bumped to 11th! Oh well, I said. I am sure Mott, or Joe, or Dan, or some other super fast dude decided to go hard on the climb. Turns out two people were tied for 9th, pushing me to 11th. How much faster were they? They had me by ONE FREAKING SECOND! So naturally I reacted like every other Strava addict. I freaked the eff out!

We rode this segment on our Sunday morning team ride. I was not having a great day and we had already ridden 30 miles super hard by the time we hit the hill. I faded off the back as we climbed. I was not thinking about how climbing above threshold after 30 brutal miles in February will pay dividends at the Hilly Billy Roubaix in June. No, I was thinking how I was not going to move back into the top 10 on that ride. As soon as I knew I was not going to best my time I gave up a little. I still rode it hard, but I did not stand up on the last little kicker and sprint.

Monday my legs were shot so I noodled around on my lunch ride, avoiding all segments. Tuesday the weather was going to be nice and I had no meetings scheduled. So I planned my segment revenge. I installed a new bottom bracket Monday night rather than play Candyland with my daughter. (Don’t judge!). I packed a medium size baselayer rather than the large to save some weight. (I’m telling you Strava is worse than meth!). I ate a good breakfast at work. I skipped the coffee for water, I stretched at my desk. Then at lunch went out, pumped up the tires, removed my saddle bag and did not carry a water bottle. After a couple miles of warm up I attacked the segment. I made a note of the time on my Garmin at the start, and then rode as hard as I could without blowing up. Never looking at the garmin, just turning the cranks a little faster than I thought I should. I know this climb so well I know to be patient. There is a false “summit” near the top and the last kicker is exposed to the wind as there are no trees lining the road anymore so I knew to save some. I cleared the trees and stood up and sprinted for the segment end. I glanced down at the garmin and knew it would be close.

I was then in the unfortunate position of an addict knowing my next fix is coming but not for a few hours. What to do?!?! I don’t have an ANT stick at work!!! Damnit! The afternoon dragged on. 5:00 o’clock hit and I did my best Fred Flintstone and tore ass home. The dog can wait, I gotta upload! Come on! Come on! Done! Go to ride, YES, GO TO RIDE DAMNIT! 2 trophies! Wait, what if they are “3rd best time on that other segment no one cares about”? Scroll down…. And just like that first hit on the crack pipe, euphoria! PR on the segment. 9th overall! By how much? You guess it, one freaking second.

Alright, I gotta go. Someone beat my KOM on the segment I made out of my driveway… What? It’s uphill.

2012 - RRP at World's End

2012 training has begun. And since the world is going to end this year we decided to start our training with a party. We ate official team sushi

And cake

The ladies built pyramids

And then we made it rain up in here thanks to Mr. VIP himself
Registration opened for the Sub 9 Death March Jan 1st. I think Cox and I won the registration race (hey, a win is a win!) I have hyped this race many times as the best race I have ever ridden. The t-shirt design for 2012 only raises the bar.This year is bitter-sweet as this will be the last race for our TD racing teammate Huddle before he moves to North Carolina. We will miss riding, racing, and hanging with you but will be super jealous of the awesome riding you are moving closer to. Godspeed my friend.Speaking of moving to awesome places to ride, Jon Timmons will be flying the RRP colors in Nashville from now on. Again, sad to lose a great friend but Nash-Vegas will be a better place with the Timmons family and now we have an excuse to get down to some killer Central TN riding. Jon submitted a top 10 at the yearend party which was freaking spot on. Read it here. I couldn't get any pics of Jon to upload here but he does exist.

2012 Flying Pig Marathon registration goes up in price Feb 1 so go here and register for this super fun marathon. The RRP 513 will have a ladies 4 person relay, at least 3 or 4 Half runners, and one full 26.2 this year. The non runners are talking about bringing Heckle Hill from Kings CX to Eden Park. I hope the Pig can handle being covered in Rainbow Unicorn vomit of Awesome. Wonder if Team Hungry could be talked into bringing the Heckle Monster?

A number of folks are registered for Cohutta and Mohican already so it looks like we will have a nice big 513 contingent in the NUE series. Jeni is committed to racing for the overall this year and doing Cohutta, Syllamo’s Revenge, Mohican, Lumberjack, and Wilderness 101! This in addition to a number of 12 and 24 hours races. Safe to say she will probably rack up the most race miles of 2012.

And last but not least: want to get some early race miles in your legs? Looking for something better than the triangular torture device in your basement? Come race the Winter MTB Series at Harbin Park. Pre-Reg here to save some $$. Don’t want to race? We need volunteers to help too.

Posted from 10 Forward while enjoying a fine Romulan ale.

J

... and that's a wrap.

That's me failing to grab a dollar handup and the CX gods punishing me by wacking me in the face with my bars. And so ended 2011.

2011. O-V-E-R. Stick a fork in it. D-U-N. I suppose I should have some profound words about the year that was, or a witty year in review write up. I apologize in advance for lack of wittiness and lack of profoundness. Wow, both of those are actual words according to MS Word. Who knew?

2011 did see the “maturing” of our little race team experiment. We capped out at about 25 riders and I think everyone is comfortable with that number. There are a few people who have standing invites to come ride with us but for the most part we are where we need to be. And I cannot say enough about the quality of the people who I call teammates. I would (and have on more than one occasion) trust my kid with any of them. As said by more than one person we are not a team, but the fastest family in the area. Well, some more fast then others but you get the idea. It’s weird, I have friends on other teams, good friends, and I am sure they share a bond with their teammates but we have truly built something special. I love each and every one of these guys and gals and look forward to sharing more races, podiums, epic rides, training rides, heckling contests, and most importantly, beers, with you in 2012 and beyond.

As for actual racing, we started the year at the Sub 9 Death March and that is still my favorite race/ride/event I have ever participated in. We actually raced pretty well too. The summer was not as “epic” as I had planned and did only the East Fork XC race and the John Bryan 6 hour race on the MTB. JB continues to be a close 2nd to the <9DM for pure fun. I did however, get talked into racing some local Wednesday night crits on the road bike. I went into it saying “these are training for CX only” and left wanting more. I am looking forward to the crit season more than is healthy for a non-roadie!

CX was a bit of a letdown for me this year, I was in the best racing shape of my life, I bought tubies and had aspirations of a solid top 15 overall in the Mens 35+ cat 3 class this year. Well, the OVCX schedule conflicted with my life a bit and I did not do enough races to qualify for the overall series. But if I had, I would have had that top 15. Yay. OK, so it was not much of an accomplishment but I felt like I was racing pretty well this year. All in all I have no regrets, and as Myerson so famously cried, “It’s just stupid bike racing, but it means everything.”

For 2012 right now the plan is to race for fun. At the end of the CX season some of the fun of racing was going away, being replaced by the drudgery of training, racing, cleaning the mud off the bike AGAIN, and doing it all over next week. I have found I really like the endurance racing more than the XC stuff, and maybe more than CX (blasphemy!). The <9DM is on the schedule for sure, hopefully some kind of early season 6 hour or 50 mile type MTB race (April/May time frame), I am trying like hell to make Hillybilly Roubaix fit (June), a bunch of Wednesday night crits (June/July), John Bryan 6 hour if it happens again, Maybe the 6 hour at the 24 hours of DINO, Wayne Ultra, and the Sub 9 Gravel Grovel. CX may take a back seat next year. Who knows though? Half the fun is planning this crap just to see it never come to fruition.

If the interwebs are lucky I might blog a little more too…until then, Merry Christmas!

Having your CX cake and puking it back up

There’s been a lot of talk about the CX Hangover from STG followed one week later with the Cincy3CX weekend. That is a lot of CX in 8 days. Not to worry though, USGP Derby City Cup is this weekend. Consider that your Coughlin's Red Eye of CX.
Quick recaps: Storm the Greens. Not held at an old golf course anymore so the name is sorta dated. The venue moved to Eva Bandman park, home of the USGP and the 2012 Master’s Worlds and 2013 UCI Elite world champs. And a big ass mud puddle.So the venue is world class, and I went into it with high expectations and the Papa John’s crew did not disappoint. Jeni had the RB (Rogue Battlecruiser) set up course-side for our home base. I brought the whole fam-damily and the Farrell clan was in full force too, setting up a day of racing, drinking, and child-wrangling. I don’t think drinking a High Life while racing makes me a bad parent. I mean, I passed on the bourbon shot hand ups.

This was Halloween so we all got to play dress up. Jeni and Sparkles (the Horse, not the Mullet) stole the show.I loved the race, I felt good, loved the course, rode a great race. Still finished dead mid pack. I am nothing if not consistent.

On to UCI3. I raced Friday only as I liked the course the best last year and these races carry no OVCX points now. Plus I wanted to just cheer and heckle on Sunday. And heckle we did!

The course Friday was brutal for me. Probably my worst race ever. All power climbs and 2 inches of mud everywhere. I had nothing in the tank. I was not lapped but I was pulled a lap early. I did not mind at all. I did get to see and hang with the Van Dessel team of Tony, Julia, and Jennifer again. It's always great to see them.

Sunday we decided to bring it! And it was brought. Basecamp was set up Saturday night with the RB
and then we went to work during the races!
All this resulted in a heckle-off challenge between us at Rogue and the Shamrock team for the OVCX Finale at Kings CX in December. Buckle up boys! Buckle up!

Mid Season CX Post

Shit, half the Cyclocross season is over already. Where did the year go? Oh well, a few snippets and observations so far:

• When new teammates are fast they just make the rest of us look slow. Since joining up in mid September, most of Bryan’s race days have ended like this: (although the see-thru skin suit may be a bad look...)

• Masters aged racers are delicate, fragile little things. Seiler, Segal and Kay are done for the season, Jerry missed a few weeks, some dude I don’t know taco’ed a wheel and reportedly he spent some time in the ER, and Matt is still nursing his busted up wrist from trying to hop barriers.

• It it’s raining it’s Wednesday.

• There are at least 13,674 children racing for Lionhearts and RedZone combined.

• They are ALL faster than me.

• They all have $9,000 bikes.

• I am jealous.

• Racing at noon > racing at 8:00 am.

• Convincing one of your teammates to buy an RV is a worthwhile endeavor.

• Running into an Airedale sucks ass.

This season has been fun so far, and I am hoping I can keep some kind of form through the next month of sporadic racing and dwindling daylight. I am however already looking at next year’s race schedule. Sub 9 Death March is locked in, at least one “epic” MTB race will find its way on to the schedule, hopefully another gravel road race (or 2), some local 6 hour races, and then back at CX. I so want to do the American Ultracross Championship Series but that is probably a gravel road right to divorce. So, if anyone wants to do these races and let me live vicariously through you, that would be appreciated.

That’s it till STG. I will try to get some race reports or at least a recap or two up during the remainder of the season.
JG

Tell Me Again Why I Thought Catting Up Was A Good Idea?

Huber’s Apple CX on Sunday, the Bob’s Red Mill Oatmeal Cup, was my first “non-beginner” Cyclocross race. What’s funny is all the sandbaggers (errr, “rookies”) from last year in the 4s lined up next to me again in the 3s… the more things change…

I was told that Huber’s Apple farm/winery/restaurant/vineyard was a great place for the family and a great cx course. So, I loaded up the wife, child, father in law, mother in law, brother in law, and 2 nephews for the 2 ½ drive to Starlight, IN. Can’t find it on a map? That’s because the only thing in Starlight, IN is a silo. Seriously.

We arrive at the venue and I must say, Joe Huber has quite a spread. I unload, register, change and pin a number. The fam heads over to the farm to take hayrides, pick apples and ride ponies while I warm up. The course is fast but challenging. A steep run up is rideable but at what cost? A double sand pit the same. Overall a great test for the new tubies (worked flawlessly) and a good reminder what CX is all about (sweet, sweet pain). Big props out to the Bob’s Red Mill team for course design and a well run event. Those guys are 100% class. And not slow on bikes either.

My race was fairly uneventful. Good start, sand pit tangled everyone up, the fast guys dropped me, I caught and passed a few riders, I held off Christian because he only had 2 gears. I was the last rider not lapped so my final lap was lonely until the elite guys warming up caught up to me. Having my father in law as a cheering/screaming lunatic on the hill climb made it hurt a little less. The shouts of “C’mon Rogue!” always push me a little, and having my daughter ringing her “jingle bell” at the sand pit always makes me go faster. Not so fast I can’t smile and wave though… and best cheer goes to my wife who channeled Ricky Bobby combined with the Trent to Mikey speech, screaming at me in the sand that I was an “Animal in the sand! A SAND ANIMAL!”

This year in the 3s is going to be a challenge. 45 minutes is a loooonnnnnng time and all the racers are fast(er). Hopefully I can “race myself into shape”. After my race we headed over to shop for overpriced pie filling, took a lap through the corn maze, and then sat down to the buffet dinner the racers got at a discount. DAMN! Mrs. Huber can make some fried chicken and apple cobbler. This was probably my first race ever where I did not leave with a calorie deficit. I am glad this place is 2.5 hours from my house because I would be racing Clydesdale.

Here are crappy cell phone pics proving I climbed the steep hill.

And here is the real reason we came down here. Dad’s race can’t compete with this.