Barry-Roubaix 2011. A View From The Other End Of The Elite Pack

Barry-Roubaix 2011 has come and gone. Sorry its taken a bit to get this story together. I'm still recovering, from the ride and the weekend. We had a serious crew lined up for this years event. we had Coleman and the Pope coming back from last year as was Osgood. We somehow tricked Seiler, Porchpony, Fatty and Gryzwald into coming. To read Seilers race report click here
He had a really solid race and will happily talk wattage with you on his site. We also, somehow got suckered into racing elite this year. No short 35 miles of fun in the winter-cold sun. 65 miles ! 2 loops! we were totally screwed, and we knew it.
In the planning, we relied on Coleman for the local knowledge. We didn't realize he'd been blacksmithing in his garage, but that comes into play later on.

You can see the packing preparations. What to take for 17 degrees and grave'/dirt for 65 miles? sled dogs? parkas? This was my start.

Of course we needed healthy vittles to get us northward.

Green bikes, everywhere the eye could see. Whats the budget on that?


Our first stop was to pick up Fatty from the airport, returning from a beer convention. Go ahead and let that thought settle in for a moment. Leaving a beer mtg to go to a bike race. One can only assume its the result of extremely good karma. For more details, again...go to seilers site for all karmic explanations.
Next stop was our annual/bi-annual pilgrimage to Brasserie Brugge. Belgian House made ales and frites filling a massive metal cone. Our portion was labeled l'enorme on the menu. They were under selling it. Seiler and Porch Pony met Pope, Fatty and I there to ingest as many calories as we could without affecting the gas mileage of our vehicles. fail.


While we were working our way northward, Coleman and this piece of craftsmanship were hurtling their way south. Its a "burn barrel". took me all weekend to realize he wasn't saying "bum barrel", tho I'm not sure theres a difference. He filled this creation w charcoal and we were able to return to heat and hot food. SCORE.
Our next meal(in K-zoo) was served by a waitress named Chantal Canada....No! We didn't eat at a "gentlemens club". I'm not sure if that was her "server name" or her real name, hard to say.

We crammed all of our stuff into a room that was soon crowded w 7 guys, bikes, gear, beer and assorted weekend things. Porchpony's lego-jacket took up almost an entire wing.

The next morning we were off and rolling. 1000 racers!! I heard a lot of names that I knew-Tristan Schoouten, Brian Matter, etc. Real racers. I was in a race with people Id read interviews with. Im not thinking they were worried.
As always, promoter Rick Plite pulled off the impossible by making the neutral roll out work. We were moving! 160 some odd started the 65 miler, I cant remember but I think it looked like this.

We were hauling some ass as we hit the 2 mile double track of doom section. Carnage everywhere. Im not sure how some of those folks crashed going in a straight line. didnt seem possible. We were moving fast and knowing that I had 62.5 more miles of this I backed off the pace just a touch. Rolling along the gorgeous dirt roads I came across Aaron Hawkins. Amazing in a sea of riders to run into a friend hauling it up a hill. We compared notes on important stuff like snacks and gearing before separating.
Somewhere between there and the steeper hills, I flatted my rear tire. I got a chance to use my new frame pump. Flawless and faster than dealing with CO2. I got going again and tried to make up lost time. Pope and Coleman couldnt be too far ahead, right? As I got ready to turn onto loop 2, some of the 35 mile racers heckled me! Punks. I almost turned around to give them a piece of my mind, but I had a long way to go. I was getting tired and my lobster gloves werent letting me get to my food as easily as Id hoped. I made a conscious effort to eat and push ahead at a better pace. I hit the double track again and it hit me back! Twice I landed on my ass in not so technical sections. I just wanted to get to the middle section of the course which was fast and flowy. Once there I was able to eat again and try to make up time. The SAG vehicle caught up to me, and I asked "hey, are you the broom wagon" fearing that I was that far back. He calmed my fears but hung around like a vulture. I had no desire to quit, but having the option ride beside me was not good. I sped up as he slowed to talk to another rider. I reached the "drummer hill" where l;locals had crowded around for the first lap, cheering and shouting. It was a lonely climb this time, and not a fast one. I got to the final paved section and tried to get my pace moving. Out of nowhere, a Shamrock rider came blasting past me. No! I can catch him. I found a new reserve of energy and got down in the drops pounding my legs as hard as I could. Finish line! I knew that I wouldn't catch him but Id made up time. Hope my group was still awake.



Things back at Camp Rogue were "muy tranquillo" as one of the pros had put it. I parked and changed and went into my usual full-body shiver for a while before gorging on Colemans home made chili. That was good stuff. It was worth waking up to a hotel room that smelled like a combination of meat and dood to have that ready post race. (in all honesty, I was really worried about the "beefy" smell in the room until I realized he was cooking) Gryzwald had already bolted for las ville, but Osgood was hanging strong after a solid finish in the 35.
I made the rounds, had a few Founders IPA's while I got to talk with Stomach of Anger's Kacha at their tent. Check them out, you may be seeing a lot more of them everywhere "shortly" if that hint isnt too subtle.
After our few social stops it was time to head back to the room. Sleep was catching up fast.

Im not going to give out details of anything from that night. I'll concurr w Seiler that Osgood can hold his liquor and that I am $5 poorer for it.
I am also certain that they probably repainted our room after we left because of the overwhelming smell.
All in all it was a great weekend. We all raced well. Seiler finished well towards the top, followed by Fatty, Zack, Coleman(monster ride) Pope and me. turns out a 3rd of the 65 milers dnf'd.
We ended our trip with Reubens at Shapiro's Deli in Indy. I still have agada. It was worth it.

Brrrrrrrrrx!

We are so screwed

signs of spring

I blame @winstonsbrand for this but the warming weather always makes me dust off the pave's and put them on until we are thru the spring classics. Its always around the Ides of March(take that jimmy) and I start to think about gravel roads and cobblestones.
Its still warm enough for arm warmers and embro early and then the sun has been burning off the chill. As my term of "funemployment" comes to an end, im going to try to get as many last miles in as I can.

Lets face it, my UofL Cardinals just opened March wide for me to go riding.

We have all manner of Barry-Roubaix related banter coming and an actual interview for a change as we talk to JC Breslin about his upcoming paralympics effort. It may just be an excuse to show a picture of a sweet steel tandem track bike or it may have been the best sory at NAHBS. You decide.

Truly Marching Dead

As many of you know Gryzwald, Tim, Stierwalt and Gary took a little longer than most to finish the Sub 9 Death March. Here's why: Morons? You make the call...

Special thanks to Joe at TBBE for publishing their story. Also be sure to check out The Best Bike Blog Ever's article about the Death March in the next issue of XXC Magazine

The Great Rock n Roll Swindle or The Sub 9 Death March Race Report. You Call It What You Like

We knew we were screwed when we saw all the maps. The preparation, the planning. Done by the other teams that is. We didnt have shit. Bupkus if you will. Hell, garner-ray had been posting routes for weeks. We'd paid it no mind.
The Sub 9 death March is an amazing event that requires all of those things. Or...If you're a certain porch pony, otherwise known as Poncho Van Zandt, otherwise known as my partner, you say "ahhhh, fuck it" and race any way. We charmed and scammed our way thru the entire thing and had a freaking blast. I guess I could rewind and start from the beginning to properly disparage our team mates and passengers in the BFT(1) that took us northward. Cant skip disparagement on these pages, right?
Hold tight for the Great Rock and Roll Swindle.

Rolling up to Brown County in Gryzwald's truck, and he and @therealtimbrown start discussing their series of maps and cue sheets.

I'd love to tell you that Poncho and I merely exchange knowing glances and played it cool, but you people know I dont hide things well. I immediately went into Mission Impossible mode and started snapping pictures. Espionage is a first reaction. Im not proud. We got to the race and folks were talking about secret navigational markers and satellite imagery. I had evel-jacks wookie-stickered lunch box filled with beer. I figured it was a fair fight. We could've panicked, we couldve said screw-it and just stayed behind and finished the beer.
Instead we figured we'd let everyone else play by their rules and we'd play by ours.



At the start line we half assed a strategy and tried to get out in front of the pack to let them sort themselves out. It may have looked like I was just trying to keep up w my partner, but this is the story Im going w now.
As we flew down gravel roads and singletrack, gryzwald and @therealtimbrown rocketed past us. This is how gryzwald always looks when he passes me. The momentary slow-down into the acceleration....sigh. gone. We didnt see them again until the end, but thats coming. Patience chirren.



Im glad garner-ray posted his pictures because ours were....hmmmm. Disrespectful? Not to the cemeteries but to everything else including each other. Maybe thats why we kept ending up on our own? Heres our more "normal" shot. We had to adapt to keep our direction holding friends from running away in horror.





We were setting a really good pace when we happened upon Will Sherman from Shamrock Cycles and his partner. Thank god Will's the kind of guy that he is and let us hop on and ride with them. They got us thu the rest of the required stops. I dont have a picture of them, so here's the company website. Go give Tim O'Donnell some money and get a sweet, sweet steel bike. Seriously. Awesome.

Just as we were descending towards a final time bonus I flatted(surprisingly for the first time), changed the tire and blew out the tube in my hurry. Now Im on my own and walking down a gravel road. Poncho returned and soon after we saw Stierwalt, Lunsford, Brown and Gryzwald. They'd been JRA(ftnote 2) for over 3 hrs. We asked how thatd happened? They'd had coordinates and planning that the military wouldve been impressed by(or intimidated, either). Gary was riding w his foot taped to the pedal. Hard day. I gave up my right cleat figuring we were done and almost to the finish. Remember kids, no good deed goes unpunished. Shortly after parting ways, Poncho blew out his rear tubular and we were hoofing it for 5 miles in carbon-soled shoes.
In the end, All made it home safe. We hung w Rick Plite from BRX(2 weeks! giggity, giggity), the remaining Rogues(butch, Hez, Sherri, etc.) and the Shamrock folks and shared beers and stories.

As the parking lot emptied, we got more and more concerned about our still missing comrades. 8 hrs into their day and no sign. VM's were left with increasing levels of taunting/concern. We were getting worried about their safety and our own(715 dinner rez w the wife wasnt looking good) We took the bft in our own hands and took off "in search of" as they came wheeling into the lot. They looked as though theyd escaped a prison camp, not a bike race. Tales of nipple high water and big foot by the herd were cast around, as though testing for belief. No takers.

All I can say is that these folks(the promoters) got their race done right. Big tip of the helmet to them for a lotta hard work and preparation that went into this event. With the exception of our wandering traveling companions, it seemed to go off without a hitch, and lets face it....they came home with better stories than a mid-pack finish wouldve brought anyway.



Footnote 1- BFT= big fucking truck. Most commonly found in texas or driven by texans. Carbon Footprint is not offsettable. Not a hybrid.
Footnote 2-JRA= Just Riding Around. An aimless jaunt thru the countryside without concern for time or direction

Sub-9 Death March recap

The "death rig" aftermath:I have been trying to figure out how to recap a race that had no set course, no real pictures of racing action, and was 5 hours long. Well, some people took longer. Much longer. And may have cost our team beers in our little inter team wager with the Bio Wheels/Reece Campbell teams, but I digress...

We raced in teams of two around the Hoosier National Forest looking for 10 checkpoints. 9 were historic cemeteries and 1 was a fire lookout tower. We were armed with a bike of our choice and any maps we could procure. A total of 11 Rogue Racing Project teams toed the start line. My partner, Jason Cox, and I were side by side. The whistle blew. The start was not that hectic so we inched forward, finally reaching the road. I look around and about 7 of the 11 RRP teams are all with me. Except my partner. I soft pedal and everyone else heads out to the first checkpoint. I still soft pedal. We hit the first gravel road section, finally Jason catches on. Turns out he had a mechanical; his rear wheel slipped in the dropouts. We begin to hammer the gravel road as fast as we could. This was no regular gravel road though. Fresh gravel about 2 inches deep. Downhill felt as if you were skating, uphill or flats was just soul and energy sucking. We catch most of the Rogues as we leave the gravel and enter Combs "road". And road is being generous. This is a 4 wheeler trail at best. Brutal climbs, muddy downhills, at least 10 little streams to cross. Basically as much fun as you can have on a bike fearing for your life. We reach the first cemetery and we all regroup. Pictures taken and we are off. Notice how I look like this is fun still? Back the way we came down Combs "road". On one particularly fast section of the double track Dave, who is new to the team, learned a valuable RRP team rule: Don't follow Butch's line! Ever. High speed endo, bike and rider are good. Let's roll. At the next checkpoint on our route, Robertson Cemetery, we are a group of 6. Me, Jason, Dave, Evan, Stephen, and Butch. Notice Jason still looks happy...We roll to the Fire tower next. Gotta climb it to get the bonus time. Its about 200 feet tall. Built in 1941. It's a windy day. We were wearing MTB shoes. It was "fun" to say the least. Jason enjoying the view. Out to Todd cemetery, and then finally a paved road! Hammer down to Mitchell. Over to Hickory Grove church. We are starting to have less fun... Roll on to the singletrack we need to ride to hit Callahan Cemetary. At this point we are close to 40 miles and 3000 feet of climbing in. The singletrack is impossibly steep in sections. Hike a Bike. Checkpoint found. Definitely less fun...Ride the trail to the road on the other side. Best part of the race. A huge pine forest section with hundred feet tall trees. Smelled like a Christmas tree store! Looked like Washington state. Just gorgeous. Worth the pain. At this point I hit a giant mud hole a a good rate of speed. Ass over tea kettle I go. Elbow deep mud. No broken bones, lets roll. Back on pavement we hit Hanner, Cornett, and Fleetwood cemeteries before we head in. All in all, 5 hours in total, 4 hours of riding time, all 10 checkpoints, 1,000 grins, 1,000 grimaces, 2 endos, 1 powerbar, 5 GU packets, and one hell of a good time.

The Sub 9 Productions folks set the bar early and high for best race of the year. It is gonna take something pretty outstanding to top this. This race has a permanent home on my schedule from now on.

http://www.sub-9.com/ for more info on Sub 9 Productions events.
http://www.2pedalsphotography.com was the official photog for the race.

I am sure Brian will have his view of the race up later on too. Stay tuned.

Jason

Death March is tomorrow. Heres some motivation

I've been reading about these and their legendary deliciousness. So if Im going on a Death March, I oughta have good snacks at the very least right? Right. Got this as a text from Drew at OYLC. If I had a job Id buy that whole damn tower. I really do ride to eat. I wonder if they go with beer? I know there must be something that doesnt.

This is stolen from the guys at www.singletrack.com, whose web site is coincidentally, www.singletrack.com If watching Absalon try out mavic wheels doesnt motivate you, then switch websites now. You're not in the right place.


I figured we'd close with a little somethin from Old Shakey. This'll be my theme song as we passenge(its a word now, bitch) to the race tomorrow at oh dark thirty.


Now lets take down those fools from Biowheels, proper!

Death March Smacktalk Fires Up

With the Death March gravel road race coming up this weekend, the level of feces being tossed is at truly new and impressive levels. The Biowheels boys and the RRP513's are laying it on thick. This is why I love racing, especially the offbeat ovrly ridiculous shite we do!!
Bring it on, just quit calling that ketchup-stew y'all have "ribs". That's just wrong.

This Tuesday I'll be singing this all day Drive-By Truckers "Get Downtown" Live on SIRIUS XM Outlaw Country

CyclingDirt.com's take on BRX. Bring It!!

The other best website in the multiverse www.cyclingdirt.com hasa a great feature on BRX, who's cant wait for this event? this guy. you know it!

okay, hold it now, hit it!!

Michigan's 2011 cycling race season kicks off in just a few weeks with the “Barry-Roubaix … The Killer Gravel Road Race”. Barry-Roubaix will test riders against rolling gravel roads (80%), pavement, one mile of rough two-track, rocks, sand, mud, and possibly snow and ice, along with 2200 feet of climbing over its 35 mile loop.



Held in Middleville, Michigan, the race will begin and end at the Gun Lake Unit, Yankee Springs Recreation Area on March 26th, 10:00 A.M. Racers will challenge themselves while navigating the rough two-track known as West Sager Road, then zig zag their way as far east as Cook Road near Hastings, MI. Throughout the race, cyclists will travel many of the dirt roads, and a few paved roads in Barry County, for a total of 23, 35 or 62 miles depending on the class entered.

Last year’s event was a huge success, drawing over 800 racers. On-line registration has already begun, and this year’s event is expected to draw over 1000 racers, many from as far away as FL, TN, IL, OH, IN, PA, KY, WI, MN and Canada. 2010 Iceman Commeth Champion Brain Matter will be on hand to give past Barry-Roubaix champions Derek Graham and Michael Simonson a run for their money. Female Champion Mackenzie Woodring will defend her 2009 and 2010 titles.

The organizers have obtained permission from the Sheriff’s department, the State Police and the DNR, and look forward to making this an annual event for years to come. The event provides a welcome boost to the local economy, bringing racers and their families into Michigan where they will purchase over night lodging and meals not only during race week, but also during training visits and vacations throughout the year.

Founders Brewing Co. is the title sponsor, joining with many other local and national companies to make this event possible. Custom trophies and medals from local wood carver Nelson Wood, as well as a $2000 cash purse will be on the line.

For more information, please visit www.barry-roubaix.com or contact Rick Plite at 616 863-3291.

CyclingDirt will be on the scene all weekend filming races and interviews. Tune in that weekend to catch all the action from BRX!

one more stoney lonesome post before its all about the death march

See the map behind Tracey? Shoulda stolen that.


Heres the creek crossing, It was a stright up jump into it.



and here we go again. Not even sure how I got back there. That girl behind me was 5'4"...I hope she had a snorkle.


The bike ended up looking like this. I thought about telling Billy that Id just come from Cherokee and the trails were a little sloppy. Couldnt do it to him. He'd blow an aneurysm